a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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