Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's blow job season.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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