is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
