She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
