I hate all girls vehemently.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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