I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
