He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize