I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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