chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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