It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hippo gnu deer
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
