Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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