called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
please come you make the beer taste better
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
