where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
