Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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