I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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