If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
