im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
