why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
