i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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