Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
