Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
