She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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