Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
