have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's just like the Real World with babies
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
