Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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