Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
