Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
