And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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