She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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