so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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