I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
