In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
