you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
