I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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