You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
