Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize