Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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