ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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