fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
