I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
