I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
