I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
