no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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