based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize