Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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