dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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