I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If I die, sorry about rent.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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