You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
