Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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