This is not my ceiling
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
