i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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