it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You are the jesus of drinking
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
