well you can't waste a boner
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
