Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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