I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize