I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
