every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My cat gives me a boner
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize