I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
